Filled with dread.

I have been waiting for quite a long time now in fear of the unknown, in fear of death, not for myself though but for the ones I love best in the world. Every day when others go to sleep with sweet dreams I’m plagued with thoughts of pain and nightmares. Maybe it happens to other’s but to me, it always feels so real that I end up on the phone the next minute talking to them reassuring myself that “all was well”. When I was in school, every time they called me out of class, my mind immediately raced to try to grasp on what was happening and the only reason that kept cropping up would fill me with misery and hopelessness that I wouldn’t be able to make even the smallest cell of my body to fill up with dopamine.

Have you ever thought about something well enough before speaking? Have you ever given thought to how that painful word you conjured up in no time to gnash away someone’s insides, might even be the last word that they hear? Wouldn’t that fill you up with regret, with the guilt of having been the last person to talk to the deceased not to cheer them but to tear them apart and pierce their wounds repeatedly until there was nothing you could have done to make them feel better? Each word you speak matters, don’t pride yourself on being straight-forward, you are being nothing but malevolent. I know how tempting it is to be smug about your arrogance and cold words, but a day will come when those evasive comforting words would be all that you want to hear but there won’t be anyone around to console you even with those sweet little white lies. Don’t make the mistake I made,just live with people don’t try to stand out of the crowd with those contemptuous words, they will take you nowhere but just fill your heart with despair and dread, as a dementors do, feeding on all your happy thoughts until there’s nothing left to fill the void.

You have just one life to live, try to be as cheerful as possible and most importantly without picking up squabbles with every single person in your life, all you know about them is what they choose to share with you and not what is really going on in their lives. Before uttering anything at all, stop, think it over, try to be as nice as you can, don’t get me wrong, I’m not preaching white lies, telling the truth is very important but more important is to not hurt anybody in your journey of attaining enlightenment and becoming a saint.


Article penned by:Nisha Deborah Philips,3rd year, Computer Technology.

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