Attention Lovebirds

College life can be overwhelming with commitments to academics, parents and friends. One such trending commitment is that to love!


Somehow by third year, many fall in love. But what is love? Do our third floor frequenters thoroughly understand what they are into?

Is love spontaneous or is it just a result of deliberately orchestrated acts? Let’s explore:
Obviously, love at first sight is a myth. If the way someone interacts, smiles or even argues is adorable and makes you develop a strange urge to get yourself in their cherished circle, well then, congratulations. You have a crush.

Straight away proposing to your crush is idiotic. Friendship is the foundation of any relationship. That’s why trying to impress your crush right from the first conversation is futile and meaningless. Mostly, if you establish a genuine friendship with your crush, your feelings towards him/her may fade away and you may eventually decide to be just friends. But if it doesn’t, then that is where all the fun begins.



After spending some fair months of getting-to-know-each-other, if you still think you love them, then you love them. That is all love is – ‘Thoughts’. Love is sharing the responsibilities. It’s putting your partner’s happiness before your own. It’s respecting your partner’s privacy and immediately stepping back if overstepped. It’s smiling for your partner’s joy even if you’re not the reason for that.

Love is picking up your partner’s likes and dislikes, ensuring their comfort levels at all times without them even realizing it. Love is being the go-to-person at all times. It’s being the one to trust and rely on even at odd hours of the day, being the one who doesn’t judge and accepting your partner despite his/her flaws. Being in love doesn’t give you the right over another’s life. Being in love is leaning on each other even though you can stand on your own feet.

Love is not only about actions. Spending half the time with your partner, in person or online, doesn’t mean that you love that person. Love will make you worry about your future. It makes you work hard for a good life so that you can lead a content and happy life with your partner. Love will make you encourage your partner to do the same rather than pecking them on their whereabouts, their eating and sleeping habits or even their Facebook passwords.



Excessive possessiveness and the constant nagging around the corner of your brain to be with your partner all the time are a few signs of obsession.

Anagha Manoharan from Quora fascinatingly differentiates love from obsession as,
• He was an artist before he fell for her. She asked him to resume his painting classes. He wanted to spend time with her instead.
• He was the expectation of the whole campus for cracking the interview. She tried to convince him to prepare for the same. He didn’t hang up the phone before next day early morning.
• She got heavy-hearted hearing he might have to move to another city for his dream job. She acted like she doesn’t care nevertheless. Long distance is fun, she said. He gave up on his dream offer to be with her instead.
She was in love with him. But he was obsessed with her.


 





But you may need a little pinch of obsession, especially in the early stages of your relationship, to keep the fire burning. If your love is solely based on some intentional behavior that is deliberately designed to impress your partner, your partner may surely fall in love with your acts, not you. A healthy relationship is based on the understanding of what you feel for your love more than what you do.

It is a very slow process. It may take years to bridge the gap, to lose all inhibitions and finally become one. Love demands high level of maturity and emotional control to succeed. It may not go in a way you want but you should have the openness, acceptance and clear communication with your partner to get over any problem. You should have the ability to prioritize things and manage your time efficiently so as to not lose out in other important areas of our life. Most of all, you MUST have the maturity to accept your rejection and still wish good for your crush.

A lot to take in, isn’t it? That’s why college life may not be an ideal time to enter a relationship. Balancing all these emotions and academics will be hard. So think thrice before you ask someone out. With the level of understanding you have on life, you may not be falling in love. You may most probably be jumping into it!

Written by: Abhishek Kasturi, Third Year, Aeronautical Engineering.

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