Covfefe with Donald Trump

The day was finally here to meet the orange potus. I tried very hard to not form any opinion of the man from his very whimsical press rallies and attention seeking tweets, only to fail miserably, like every other BuzzFeed article that clearly ran out of ideas.

 

 

The security clearance for a brown person into Trump’s White House was very elaborate, that one might even say it was ‘yuuuuuuuge’. Then I was escorted to the room where I would meet the president. As I sat there waiting, I couldn’t help but think that the presidency was nothing more than a very elaborate practical joke. That sure would have been funnier than the election campaigns, but even more, a relief. But then he came, the president in his human form of mummified foreskin and golden cotton candy for hair.

 

I stood and leaned forward to shake his hand and he tried to grope me, muscle memory, I guess. We sat down and he took a sip of his ‘covfefe’ from his cup that read “#1 President”, which of course was a gift from Putin.

 

We then moved on to talk about the more pressing problems in America like “Trump”, Oh my bad, “china”. As the conversation progressed I found myself at the mercy of this overwhelming urge to ruffle his hair. A pacified urge can be very unsettling.

 

But as the conversations continued I felt a weird deep- seated sympathy for Mr. trump. The constant criticism and second guessing his every move, must have been hard on him. To be made a clown in the public eye and not taken seriously enough, unless it’s something outrageous, would have riled up anyone. Perhaps that would explain the carving for attention and spotlight on some psychological level. For after all he is only human.

 

In this new-found light that I saw Donald Trump in, I saw not a meme but a man, a human, with whims and mistakes, and is flawed just like the rest of us. With continuous judgment of his past, he wouldn’t do a better job as the leader of the nation. To start afresh, a clean slate, I imagine is what he craves for.

 

Everyone ought to give President Trump one more chance, like pineapples on pizza.

 

Just as my perception of him changed, I found a funny man whom I could make friends of, as we laughed at Obamacare and in broader event of things possibly world domination. Donald would make a perfect distraction which would take the attention of the bigger problems and pave me my way to the iron throne.

 

“Do you wanna laugh at hilary-ous memes”, I asked.

 

The President of United States rolling on the floor laughing would have been an odd sight to see for any other president, but with Donald J Trump it all seemed natural. I knew a lame pun would get him beat.

 

The days of my domination seemed certain as I brewed in my head the perfect concoction for a masterplan.

Written by Anand Sai, second year ECE
This article received a special jury award in InkSanity 2017, for its humorous content.