Why is Romance frowned upon?

“That movie is not a decent movie…”

This was what a friend of mine said to me when I suggested watching Aei Dil Hai Mushkil. When I asked her why she felt that way, she just gave me that look.

She wasn’t comfortable about going up to her mom and telling her that she was going to be watching ADHM. Why? Because, it’s frowned upon. And why is that? Because, it’s got romance in it. Why should that be a problem? It gives people ‘ideas’.



Now let’s rewind to 2005.

It was the year in which Ghajini got released.  We all do love that movie, don’t we (inspite of it being a total rip-off)?

The movie was certified with a U/A certificate. So there I was, this seven year old unsuspecting innocent little girl, until that evil looking burly dude decided to play golf with Asin’s head…

That was one hell of a nasty shock. I still can’t get that image out of my mind…



Then came Ghajini again, this time in Hindi… Now here, the hero does a villain. He decides to play some golf as well but… wait-for-it… with the villain’s head.

Revenge is sweet. But here it was just pure gore. With loads and loads of blood.

Did we feel uncomfortable while watching that scene? Hmmm, no. We were actually more terrified. Then the moment passed. Then came a couple of songs and we forgot that horrid brutal murder.

Did we get any ‘ideas’ then?

Did we?

Why didn’t we?

Well for starters we knew that these people on screen were actors. Actors, who were paid to play these parts. We knew that Asin’s head was still intact. Phew!

Why did we come up with that reasoning? For we are educated, strong minded beings who possess ‘individuality’.


We don’t pick up iron rods and search for a head to hit it with just because we saw someone else do it. We know that it’s brutal. Those who don’t think this way are probably those psycho guys we see on the news, hopefully behind bars or getting psychiatric help.

Now, if I didn’t get any harmful ‘ideas’ from Ghajini or any one of the gazzilion movies that glorify violence, what ‘ideas’ can I get  from a sweet and heartwarming Aei dil hai mushkil?

And even if I do choose to get inspiration from movies, isn’t it better if it isn’t something life-threatening? Weren’t we told that love trumps hate?

We don’t bat an eyelid when the hero kills one goon after the other but when he’s off romancing, he is called undisciplined.

I guess Mr. #Sanskari james bond will back me up on this one! He had a very bad encounter with our censor board and it’s sanskari-ness indeed…

We find this problem not just with movies but with books as well.

So what I’m trying to say is:

The moment when you realize that people are more offended by love than they are offended by murder, hatred and negativity, is when you understand that there is something fundamentally wrong with the society.


As perceived by Tirumalasri Vedam, a thoughtful wordsmith and a first year student of Electronics and Communication Engineering.